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Post by Dunstan Attard on Jun 12, 2007 23:38:20 GMT -5
this teahouse sighed in colours of light that tore through a gloom mothers keep away from their sons
and lizzie spoke of the trouble she had with her husband who stayed in bed all day weak as an autumn leaf having drunk his liver blue
and george walked in to be on his own in chattering smoke safe from the eye of his mother's snarl
and i buttoned up my coat wrapped my scarf around my neck half wishing it were my gallows half wishing it were the vanquished serpent that led adam astray
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Post by Bernard Alain on Jul 8, 2007 16:52:09 GMT -5
What I like about your writing dunstan is that on revisiting each poem I am always leaving with same sense of satisfaction with the read. This again being one of my favorites.
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Post by Bobby Slais on Jul 25, 2007 5:48:56 GMT -5
Superbly put Dunstan! Nice, tight wording and the visuals you create run deep into the reader's mind. I especially loved strophe 2. all of it, some great phases in there, and the ending bit... certainly made me think. Nice subtle twist there. ENJOYED!
Smiles! Bobby
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