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Post by Ivan Carswell on Mar 9, 2008 19:08:23 GMT -5
Stay within the warmth of me and lie at rest – I won’t deny I feed upon your strength. Lest you forget I hunger more along your length and breadth than orphaned eyes seek succour from their loneliness. Stay for- ever meshed, entrained inside the fluid flow of movements slow & languorous – blessed are we to share this trancelike closeness, caressing moments infinite without regret. Stay a while – I’ll drain the venom of your vigour and digest your offering. Hold me tight in arms afraid and breathe my name in wonderment. Wait a while and hear me cry my eulogy. © 10 January 2008, I. D. Carswell
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Post by Dunstan Attard on Mar 15, 2008 14:27:50 GMT -5
love the structure and flow
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Post by Shell on Mar 16, 2008 14:32:16 GMT -5
a weird vampiric quality to this ... it does flow well though i worry about terms like "entrainment" ... on the other hand "the venom of your vigour" is a superb allusion ... and perhaps a promise no soul can make as well? not sure where the eulogy idea fits in but that might just be me ...
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Post by Ivan Carswell on Mar 16, 2008 20:38:34 GMT -5
Shell, nice to see your commentary again! The 'entrained' image is a construct - a vehicle if you wish, to carry purely physical phenomenon to release point. Like a carriage containing the mentioned entities and heading somewhere, perhaps on rails... The eulogy is whatever you make it - a sigh, a moan, a grunt of satisfaction...!
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