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Post by Dunstan Attard on Mar 7, 2009 12:07:19 GMT -5
today i wanted to paint the urge of seed in ancient colours of tides.
the hardest part was to silhouette the fragrance of the morning
until the sunny day culminated in song where a sweeping pulse sprung a distilled beginning
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Post by Bernard Alain on Mar 8, 2009 1:04:07 GMT -5
dunstan your attachment to surrounding beauty is neverending in your poetry, I get the feeling Malta is one peacefully serenic island from sunrise to sunset, nice read.
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Post by Ivan Carswell on Mar 9, 2009 4:39:38 GMT -5
I love it but I still want to break it into shorter lines:
today i wanted to paint the urge of seed in ancient colours of tides
hardest part was to silhouette the fragrance of morning
'til sunny day culminated in song and sweeping pulse sprung a distilled beginning
Regardless, impressive...
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Post by Dunstan Attard on Mar 9, 2009 10:16:48 GMT -5
Tks Ivan, your version reads much better...depends on the mood I suppose...when i wrote my version i was focusing on contrasts hence the long lines...
Bernie, tks for comment, makes me think...malta is a small island, the sea is always close by and the the sea-countryside interaction phases from the break of the morn to the deep sparkle of the night. This beauty filters into the beat of life to meld some form of eternity. It becomes so obvious because of the contrast between such beauty and a horrible sprawl where thousands of us live in the most clastrophobic of circumstances (malta is one of the most densely populated countries in the world) ... in my eyes, this contrast heightens nature's beauty.
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Post by Bernard Alain on Mar 10, 2009 11:43:11 GMT -5
yes this was quite obvious in your earlier poetry dunstan no less 'Island I Call Home' where the intrusion was sometimes quite obvious, still you melt away into the sunsets, merge with the flora so there must be an oasis out there somewhere (maybe on some poeitic hillside--)
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Post by scriptamanent on Mar 24, 2009 14:39:08 GMT -5
I love it too, and I really like Ivan's version.
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