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Post by Bernard Alain on Aug 8, 2009 20:57:49 GMT -5
I read reprieve into every flex of a brow every wordless eye every disappearing ounce of shaming saline and Joel's old song fills the quiet with she never gives in and she never gives out and the walk home from Gelato's as solemn and vacuous as a Tibetan mountain range devoid of bestowals for childlike wisdom
and she could be just chilly for the moment like this Häagen-Dazs like maybe if I took a bite out of that hardened outer coating all the firmness the wrapper bragged about so boldly would lose a few degrees
but stripping hard cured form of it's waxy cover is a risky business all that sudden concentrated coolness I could talk about the rush of numbing BTUs
so I settle for the smaller lickings wait for a milky core to ooze promise on a stack of well written fiction to never
leave the lid down
again
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Post by leecrowell on Aug 14, 2009 7:34:07 GMT -5
I tried the excuse that remaining housebroken is an ongoing challenge to our gender, but it only got me deeper into the . . .
I enjoyed this.
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Post by Ivan Carswell on Aug 16, 2009 4:32:38 GMT -5
Is it sympathy or realisation of rather iconic individuality you'd rather receive... ? I'd say the imagery of "Tibetan mountain range/devoid of childlike ..." is a bit ponderous here because it actually doesn't deal with privilege of finely focussed delight. Tibet, regardless, is HUGE; this is in your hand! Yeah, I know things can taste that big, but TIBET? I like this focus Bernie, but you've gotta convince me ...
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Post by Don Schaeffer on Aug 16, 2009 5:25:24 GMT -5
Women women! Ooh they get away with everything. I sympathize. I think this is an excellent summary of it.
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Post by Bernard Alain on Aug 16, 2009 9:04:04 GMT -5
thanks for the boost Don and Lee,Ivan the read much appreciated. Ivan, I was aware when I used 'childlike' I might take a bit of a beating on the crit, more laziness than anything, nothing particularly iconoclastic intended here though, my real knowledge of their culture doesn't go much farther that Seven Years in Tibet, it's an attempt at contrasting/playing with the notion that although some cultures place the child on pedestals (i.e the emperor of tibet), most have little patience for our childish shortcomings (i.e. peeing on the toilet lid). I'll have to rework my section on Tibet when I have time to move a mountain thanks again for the deep read
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Post by Bernard Alain on Aug 16, 2009 9:18:29 GMT -5
I just did a small edit on this in S1 and S2
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Post by Ivan Carswell on Aug 17, 2009 15:54:37 GMT -5
You convinced me! Excellent stuff...
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