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Post by Ivan Carswell on Oct 28, 2009 21:12:36 GMT -5
‘Superwhirly Turbine’ vents adorn this roof as credos overstatements of vivacious ‘doohickey’ beliefs
Given attic credence that hot air will rise ‘til trapped the rationale would seem to be defensible
That is until one creaked incessantly moaned for no visceral elucidation upheld by ordinary interrogation
So three severe trips into confines of a superheated dimly lit roof space and a precipitously steep learning curve
At least the noise abates such that sleep may patch as one a few more moments of repose contiguously
Intense discomfort and some grease learned this home repair recalcitrant to conquer fear – balance on a beam © 26 October 2009, I. D. Carswell
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Post by Don Schaeffer on Oct 29, 2009 12:45:57 GMT -5
This is a super little piece. The last line elevates it from mundane to universal. Good work.
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Post by Ivan Carswell on Oct 29, 2009 16:39:12 GMT -5
Thanks Don - search for the universal continues!
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Post by inchiki on Dec 22, 2009 20:58:52 GMT -5
this cleverly creates, i think, a cramped in an a-frame between hot iron and dusty insulation feel, vice like; I couldn't wait to get to the end of the poem and into fresh air (! not in a bad way): it is phrases like 'attic credence' 'visceral elucidation' 'interrogation' 'precipitously' that do this. also i had forgotten all about the word "doohickey" -- i could elope with that word!
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Post by Ivan Carswell on Dec 30, 2009 3:35:56 GMT -5
inchiki, I'm still balancing!
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