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Post by Don Schaeffer on Jul 8, 2010 13:11:04 GMT -5
REVISION
I write away to get from the bowels of a building in a city I left behind, a certificate to prove I was born
in an alien time when little boys wore lace and short pants.
Now I wait for the mail, each day in the fright of someone drifting.
Suppose, I obsess, they don't find me among the millions who cover my trace.
How will I go home? Well if I waste my remaining years
hiding in the basement among the spiders the official people can't expel me.
OLD VERSION
As I grind further toward death I write away to get from the bowels of a building in a city I left behind, a certificate to prove I was born in an alien time when little boys wore lace and short pants. Now I wait for the mail, each day in the fright of someone drifting. Suppose, I obsess, they don't find me among the millions who cover my trace. How will I go home, find a new home, pass? If we hide in the basement among the spiders the official people can't expel us, if we waste our remaining years.
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Post by Nick Harris on Jul 8, 2010 13:49:22 GMT -5
Your past has come back to claim you? You have come full circle? In fact you never left, did you? Don, I like this one but it makes me sad. The illusion of what could have been had you had more opportunity is false. Sometimes, it's enough just to survive. For those, death is not a regret, but another door opening. The evolution of joy builds. We evolve and eventually shed our silken restraints to soar like the Monarch butterfly. I know, I'm taking this too seriously but, it's a great poem - not the candle, but the soot left upon the wall - not the light, but the absence of darkness - the middle ground upon which so many of us tread through the long hours of life. Why else do we get married and have children - I suppose it's because we lack creativity. You, my friend, have created a nice piece of work that will live forever.
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Post by Don Schaeffer on Jul 8, 2010 16:53:56 GMT -5
naw. No it won't but thanks.
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Post by leecrowell on Jul 9, 2010 19:34:43 GMT -5
I'm from the place you kids from the Bronx used to call Joizee. I bet those old photos with you in the shorts and lace weren't your favorites. Until maybe now. Do you remember 'Wonderama' with Sonny Fox? I bring this up because it seemed like all the kids were either from Brooklyn or the Bronx, something that made me very jealous.
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Post by Nick Harris on Jul 9, 2010 19:43:44 GMT -5
I get the impression that he wasn't one of those laced boys. Am I wrong, Don.
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Post by Don Schaeffer on Jul 10, 2010 7:52:43 GMT -5
I don't know. My family moved to Toledo Ohio 6 months after I was born. It was WW2 time.
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Post by Bernard Alain on Jul 11, 2010 15:03:51 GMT -5
don I liked this, well actually I liked the original much better, not sure what you thought was lacking, up she goes ...
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Post by Don Schaeffer on Jul 11, 2010 20:40:19 GMT -5
Thanks Bernie. I think the reference to death was a bit too much for me.
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