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Post by Bernard Alain on Jun 11, 2007 0:28:47 GMT -5
tonight my heart is the universe
a crooning pearl of silk bouquet and persian blue
read to me a poem of singing moons and falling stars
where angel dust of milky ways weave little stars into my sleep
read to me some poem
that I might find my dreams tonight
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Post by shell on Jun 15, 2007 8:10:37 GMT -5
I adore the lyricism of your writing, Bernie. This poem is silk-essence. The images are smooth, eloquently textured and redolent with romance. The expansive movement is breathtaking, spiralling out from individual to universal and back. Utterly gorgeous!
S
ps: Bernie - if I've commented where I wasn't supposed to, please feel free to delete my comment - you know me .. straight in there *grin
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Post by Bernard Alain on Jun 15, 2007 16:50:03 GMT -5
hi shell, thanks for dropping in and hope you frequent the site once we get things up and running, commenting in the submissions thread are almost recommended and I will have to clarify that in the site content. Yays and nays are quite alright and even mild grammatical corrections. We try keep all the 'heavy lifting' in the workshop though. I have established a great deal of confidence in your critiquing abilities and welcome you to this site.
Bernie
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rrw
New Member
Posts: 0
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Post by rrw on Jun 16, 2007 9:49:50 GMT -5
a sleepy feel, a cuddling poem, beat down through the day and only wanting the sanctuary of night dreams... and a person who understands it all. Very straightforward with a hint of mystery.
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Post by Bernard Alain on Jun 17, 2007 19:12:05 GMT -5
hey rrw, once again glad to see you participating, I have posted an acknowledgement of your comment, normally this wouldn't be procedure in the submissions forum, but until we get going here I will be reciprocating occasionally to keep things warm.
so thanks for the comment ...
Bernie
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Post by Charo Nadine S. Wycoco on Jun 20, 2007 3:48:54 GMT -5
Great ideas always come from your mind Bern. Upon reading this poem, it brought me to another dimension. Very relaxing!
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Post by Bernard Alain on Jun 20, 2007 16:28:16 GMT -5
thanks for dropping in Chana, I hope you drop by more often as the site develops... by-the-way I am going to be needing an assistant administrator for this site, would you happen to know anyone with a legal, accounting, online poetry and arts background ... if you have time let me know. Bernie
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Post by Dunstan Attard on Jul 1, 2007 6:07:58 GMT -5
contrast between the singular and infinite expands onto a human heart that feels the fresh breath of freedom temporarily encapsiled in this poem...great work u r doing on this site my friend ...am still having some problem to post...this is my latest quicky poem you may want to post...peace in love
a blind child has warned us through her mean smile that limbo has become less invented by the instinct of a larva licensed to exist among the shapeless sentiment of our ordinary oasis surrounded by the burning sands of our swelling time inviting us to rise beyond faint determination onto a ceaseless calm of quiet stealth; for the blind child has also let it be known that the oasis has officially become less perpetual
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Post by Bernard Alain on Jul 1, 2007 13:06:53 GMT -5
will do dunstan, I need the title of the poem as well though, I have sent you an email with respect to your problem while posting, I will try and work this out quickly as possible.
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Post by Dunstan Attard on Jul 2, 2007 16:03:42 GMT -5
limbo
limbo less invented by the instinct of a larva licensed to exist among the sentiment of our ordinary oasis surrounded by burning sands of mortal time inviting us to rise beyond faint sunsets onto a ceaseless calm of quiet stealth; for soon the oasis will officially become less perpetual
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