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Leaks
Jul 6, 2007 0:37:56 GMT -5
Post by Don Schaeffer on Jul 6, 2007 0:37:56 GMT -5
The cafe is drafty in winter because people keep opening the door to go in and out. Every time conversation, steam, fragrance, citizenship leak the snow leaving cold vacuum.
I envy the girls at the table in the warmest part of the room and watch them all through lunch. Every time they laugh, the girls put their hands to their mouths like they are coughing.
At first I think they are hiding their laughter because the open mouth isn't polite in public. Then I realize they are trying to keep spirit from leaking out.
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Leaks
Jul 11, 2007 22:32:23 GMT -5
Post by Dave Besseling on Jul 11, 2007 22:32:23 GMT -5
hi don, this one is really cool. It sucked me in initially as i sit here in Penang, Malaysia, with sweat running down my spine, and almost craving those canadian cafes in winter, where the opening of the door causes a stiff breath, a brace and a shudder. I like the image of these ethereal sprites sharing the experience of a grilled cheese adn some watery drip coffee. it works, mate!
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Leaks
Jul 12, 2007 13:59:07 GMT -5
Post by Don Schaeffer on Jul 12, 2007 13:59:07 GMT -5
Well you have romanticized it a little in your mind but I guess I helped. Thanks Dave.
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Leaks
Jul 25, 2007 5:41:37 GMT -5
Post by Bobby Slais on Jul 25, 2007 5:41:37 GMT -5
This has a nice flow to it and I really enjoyed your use of the language, especially in strophe1. Nice ending bit too Don, made this reader think, enjoyed where it took me. Great read!
Smiles! Bobby
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Leaks
Jul 25, 2007 9:11:12 GMT -5
Post by Don Schaeffer on Jul 25, 2007 9:11:12 GMT -5
This is an anthropological observation. Lol
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