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Post by Bernard Alain on Jul 17, 2007 5:32:03 GMT -5
these are great Dave, I read them in the original manuscript, I noticed the spacing for the format isn't coming out properly, I still have the original so I will fix that up for you. The trick when you post is to use the [p.r.e.] and the [/p.r.e.] (I've put a period after each letter which really doesn't belong there, just so it would show up in this window)tags at the beginning and the end of the text when posting. Super stuff and I will fix this later today if you aren't able, hope you are getting settled in.
Bernie
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Post by Bobby Slais on Jul 25, 2007 5:55:53 GMT -5
Hi Dave
I enjoyed the journey in this piece and the use of the language. I like the stresses it creates as I read, thoughts generated. I expecially liked this verse...
"A two-stroke engine expectorant. Snipped glimpse of a water pump, an eyeballed stupa or two. De-licing grandma in the afternoon sun-shafts by spaghetti cables and exhaust level fruit. Apples with worms and butter what’s been churned on a laundry soap splatter-stained stoop. "
Now that's poetic, great read buddy, thanks!
Peace and love Bobby
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